Posting for Wynn Martin webpage

I thought of something yesterday that I think Wynn would have been happy to
have somebody say at his funeral. I think it would have cracked him up.

"Well - it looks like we're in a no-Wynn situation."

I knew Wynn for years at Rice, and kept in touch since we graduated-I have
one thing I want to post, which to me epitomizes the sorts of emails I would
get from him, and the personality of his that was always on display at Rice.
I will always remember him as a manic, unstoppable comedian, one of the most
creative and energetic people I have known. He was a kooky force of nature.

Here is the email exchange: it starts out with me emailing him and a few
other Houstonians (including Jen Cooper, a friend of ours from Rice
University who had known Wynn in high school too) to alert them of the
upcoming display of the Colossal Colon (basically a gigantic model of the
human digestive system that onlookers could crawl through, for their
edification. I believe it even featured hemorrhoids at the end). Wynn
started coming back at me with puns involving digestive organs, and I
decided to try to stay with him - but it was no contest. Emails shown
below.

Jeff Korte

At 04:27 PM 4/29/2003 -0500, Korte, Jeffrey E wrote:
>http://www.preventcancer.org/colossalcolon/Tour/houston.htm
>
>Dear Houstonians:
>
>I recommend you go see the Colossal Colon! I read about it in Dave Barry,
>and it is coming to Houston next week.
>Jeff

(Wynn writes)
Well, hell, I'm game. Jen, if you'll go with me, we can be the Dynamic
Duodenum, eh?

wynn

(Jeff writes)
heh heh -- nice one.

(Jen has not responded -- Wynn writes:)
I thought so, but apparently Jen hasn't got the guts. ;-)

(Jeff writes)
Har har! Maybe she'll be colon you soon. Well, if people won't visit the
Colossal Colon, the Colon will have to go out and "seek 'em".

(Wynn writes)
O! O, stop! You're makin' me ileum!

(Jeff writes)
God, you're good! I think you got me beat. Well, if you can't beat 'em --
jejunum.

(Wynn writes)
Man, I can barely keep up with all the wordplay anal the puns. At first
they were great, butt then you rectum. Now they really sphincter.

*giggle!* ;-)

(Jeff writes)
Urine over your head with these jokes. But you bolus over with your kitchen
pantry attack and some attic action. Peristalsis joking around will result
in something beneficial; unfortunately, I suspect instead it may be leading
us into a gorge.

(Wynn writes)
You've got to be kidney me; just when it was semen impossible, your puns
went from bladder to worse. I don't mean to sound teste, though; you've
convinced me to make several visits to the Colossal Colon, so I'll be
gastrin up my car for the tripsin about a week's chyme.

I rule.

(Jeff writes)
You certainly provide cervix with a smile -- but uterus apart with the
painful gags. I was going to pull open a tube of my breast champagne to
celebrate my victory, but it is clitorus that we need to work even harder to
respond to this latest introitus in the Pudendum Contest. Ovary convenient
that you branched out into other organ systems!

(Wynn writes, and wins)
We may have a vas deferens of opinion if you think I think this is ova
because you keep egging me, because in fact you'll only spermy on. If I
have to prostate my case again, you'll ask, "Did he? Must he?" And I'll
have to answer, "Yepididymis."

As an added boner, here is an actual answer I submitted for my homework last
month:

24. How may kidney function be evaluated?

I think Barry White moaned it best in his starkly sexy classic, You Know
Urine My Heart:

Awwwww yeah, Baby; come over here and let Barry evaluate your kidney
function.
It'll be fun when I measure your BUN. Awww, yeeeeeeaaaaah.
That's justa Blood Urea Nitrogen, but don't you worry your pretty head about
that.
Whoa, girl! You got you some huge BUNs, bitch!
What'd you do, donate both kidneys or somethin'?
Your nitrogen's higher than Marion Barry, and that's not even the right
Barry, girl.
You some kinda plasma disasta.
Hey, don't look at Barry like it's my fault your kidneys ain't workin'.
Look, if you gonna get all pissy, go in this sterile container,
An' I'll just run a plasma clearance on that malt liquor you jus guzzled.
Good LORD, girl, that's enough! Who you think you are, Urethra Franklin?!
Damn, woman, this piss is flammable!
Well, your plasma clearance for booze look good.
I ain't even gonna ask why you got glucose, microbes, and protein in here,
And red blood cells Too Numerous Too Count;
Wait, you ARE Urethra Franklin!
R-B-Cs T-N-T-C, find out what it means to me!
Oh, sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me, YEOW!
...You don't get it, do you.
Well, Barry don't want to get it, either.
Whatever it is, it look like you already got it from the LAST guy you went
out with.
This is what I call my period of ejection. So long, Baby. Awww, yeaaaaah.